reflection
-
chronicles with cannabis I’ve been doing well lately keeping my distance from nature’s finest plant. I admire it from afar. I still think about lighting up anytime I feel sad, or angry, or confused, or I’m a little tired, or a little bored, or the weather is nice, or the weather is crappy, or I’m…
-
Valentine’s Day has come and gone. My opinion of the holiday has had it’s ups and downs throughout the years, usually tied to the presence of someone to celebrate with. This year, I welcomed the simplicity of it—a day to celebrate love for others, traditionally by way of flowery note. I have a great appreciation…
-
We don’t have a lot of rules in our house. You do have to finish your dinner (well, most of it) to get dessert. You have to keep the floor of your bedroom clean. We don’t allow running in the kitchen, or playing on the stairs. But for the rest of life, we tend to…
-
Do you think money does something to the brain? Recently I watched some rich guys talk about all the great work they’re doing for humanity. But they seemed unaware of the humans outside of their tech bubble. It got me thinking there might be some level of net worth that disrupts your connection to reality.…
-
Reality has had a rough go recently, hasn’t it? A lot of people are treating reality like it’s up for debate, like they might be able to convince us that there is some other version of reality with their words alone. I think we’ve been over this—reality is more than words. It’s also more than…
-
I watched an unsettling movie recently. It was about a murderous, young woman during the first world war. The title character, Pearl, lived and worked on a farm with her strict German mother and ailing father, and dreamed of becoming a dancer in the pictures. I watched it too close to bedtime and ended up…
-
Most of the time I believe in signs from the universe. I believe if you pay close attention, you can find confirmations from the cosmos on decisions you’ve made, or guidance to life’s questions by noticing the signs and synchronicities that pop up around you. I know not everyone believes in this kind of thing.…
-
After the Thanksgiving holiday my sister-in-law came by to spend time with her brother and our kids. I asked her what she and her family did to celebrate the day. We chatted for a while and she mentioned she’d noticed that their holiday traditions seemed to change every five to ten years. She was resigned…
-
Next week I’ll celebrate my forty-second birthday. I’ve never been much of a birthday person, but this one seems especially mid. It’s not youthful and relevant, or old and wise, it falls into the unexceptional middle. I’ll probably order takeout. I think I feel loneliness more intensely than the other emotions. I can feel much,…
-
And I won’t shut up about it Remember when the maze on the back of the cereal box was difficult? I bought my kids a box of Froot Loops, and I ate a few fistfuls the other day when I got the munchies (which happens more often than I care to admit). I spent some…
-
Recently, I picked up a copy of Little Altars Everywhere at my local thrift store. I passed it up for a few weeks, but it kept catching my eye. I brought it home to add to my collection, I so love the title. It’s how I kept sight of myself through this crumbling, or how…
-
Staying through the raw There is construction directly across the street from the apartment my husband and I share. We’re never in it at the same time. It’s a bizarre way to live with someone. We are separating our lives after 25 years together, and we were in need of a new living situation. I…
-
Music and Time I listen to a lot of music. Well, maybe I should say I listen to music a lot. It’s usually the same songs over and over. I’m fond of familiarity. Whenever I drive, fold laundry, or tackle the mess in the kitchen before cooking dinner, I put on my headphones and play…
-
One of my favorite mom duties is making costumes for my kids. When they were younger, I made it a month long event, spreading materials out over every work surface in the house, using any free moment to glue on another plastic leaf. When my oldest was too young to decide on his own costume,…
-
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer My philosophy professor recommended a book when I attended his class a few semesters ago. I bought it back then, but it hung around on my nightstand for a while. I’m finally on page 310 of Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I understand it’s customary to review a…
-
When the only option is digging deep. I was naive when I started therapy. I was sure I could be fixed. I believed I was the problem in each of my relationships. I expected too much. And I had some anger issues I had to work on. I was livid with absolutely everyone. I walked…
-
What is free speech? I lost a friend last week. I’m trying not to spiral about it and I’m doing an okay job, I think. She sent a final text that said I had been sharp and dismissive of her and she hoped I understood. I do not understand. It was the first time she…
-
this one’s for me I have a propensity for cynicism. I think it’s because I see things for what they are. It’s hard to open yourself to the troubles of the world and not start the calculations. I do fight it. I need to. Cynicism keeps me from my real life. The one I blew…
-
Whenever I see a bug or a small creature, or even a large creature come to think of it—if I see something that is not human—I assume that thing is male with the exception of things that I think of as inherently feminine like flowers or bees. Outside my apartment, I noticed a pansy had…
-
What changes in the present when you set your site ahead When we moved into our house nearly two decades ago, it was like stepping into a well-preserved time capsule from the 1960s. The only previous owner was a childless couple. Presumably the wife had a fixation with trendy interior design when the house was…
-
Camping with kids I bet Socrates was insufferable to be around. If you’re not familiar with the Socratic Method (named after the way Socrates practiced philosophy), he was basically a “Why?” kid. He’d find a willing participant to engage in debate and then he’d question their beliefs relentlessly until they came to an agreement on…
-
Death alone is certain I think there’s an expression that goes: nothing is certain except death and taxes. That’s a bit f*cked if you ask me, but no one is (asking me, I mean; no one is asking me). The death part makes sense though, it comes for us all. When I first started writing…
-
Is money the answer to everything? I like money. I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t in this world. I guess maybe if you have a lot of it, you don’t have to like it. It’s just around you like water in a fishbowl. Do the fish like the water? I do think my reasons…
-
It’s going to be a quick one today. First of all, I have no idea what I’m going to write about. Usually by Sunday morning I know the topic and at least one shrewd play on words I want to squeeze in somewhere, but this week I’ve got nothing. Second, I am preoccupied with planning…
-
Is it still a thing? My algorithm is full of advice on how to manage my own emotions regarding the behavior of other people in my life. I do tend to get caught in an empathy trap. I try to get inside the heads of other people to understand why they act a certain way…
-
An ode to walking around The apartment I rent is directly across the street from an elementary school. Most days I’m here, I sit out on the balcony and entertain myself with the clusterf*ck that is end of day pick-up. There are a few rules for picking up your kid. There’s an established order. There…
-
Am I even good enough to have it? I’ve heard that it’s common to view your relationship with God the same way you view your relationship with your parents. I think back to the time a friend asked about my religious beliefs and I told her I was squarely agnostic. I can’t really explain to…
-
Looks aren’t everything I was a game to them. One of those little egg-shaped key chains with the creature you care for by beeping its buttons in the right order. You learn to feed it after each playtime to get it to nap. You can’t go too long between baths. After awhile the attention afforded…
-
Call a spade a spade I watched a legacy media news program while I ate my breakfast this morning. During the hour with Margaret, I listened to the same wordplay I’ve heard from past administrations (this time obscuring extraordinary crimes, I suspect), I questioned the merits of the next big, beautiful bill with a congressman…
-
The state of the union Every Monday and Wednesday I drive the short distance to my community college to study Ethics. Its a diverse group of students, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn from a variety of perspectives. As a class, we discuss right, wrong, and in-between. The course is a highlight of…
-
Waste not, want not I made a promise to myself to write every week and I have kept it. However, this week I spent the weekend writing a term paper for my philosophy 101 class. So, as promised dear readers, a Sunday writing. What is the value of philosophy in the contemporary world? Wisdom derived…
-
What it is to think about people who aren’t you I’m a people pleaser. That’s the catchy moniker that the mental health machine appointed for the people who care about the happiness and comfort of other people. Personally, I’m of the opinion that caring about other people isn’t all that bad. Just yesterday, I saw…
-
What’s going on with men? Walking out of the hardware store a few weeks ago, I faced an older, bald man wearing shorts and a baggy t-shirt on his way in. I made a move to walk around him when he stopped dead in his tracks. “Did you forget your smile in there?” I don’t…
-
I love the quality of light After a night of snow Blue and yellow Blended through magic water Beauty is here for you to unpuzzle Fractals upon fractals of it Beauty… and turtles all the way down
-
A lesson on growth This weekend is a busy one for us. The start of summer is a busy season for every parent of school-aged children. At the end of the school year, we congratulate ourselves for making it through nine months of impossible feats of scheduling and logistics with the granddaddy of them all.…
-
Today we spent Memorial Day with family. Spending time with others has been difficult for me lately. There’s something about a lengthy battle with your own mind that really puts the rest of life’s tribulations into perspective. I have so much. I find myself easily irritated with others for being normal people talking about normal…
-
What it’s like to be a woman tw: I mention the reality of sexual violence During the pandemic I took up walking around my neighborhood. What started as an escape became a choice activity. I’ve grown to really enjoy admiring my neighbor’s lawn ornaments and their well-tended gardens. On days I can afford the time,…
-
Lessons of the sunk cost fallacy. One thing that makes my heart happy is turning off my wifi while I write so they can not interfere in my process of telling the truth. I realize this is a tad on the tin foil hat side of thought, and that really, we are all already on…
-
Existing in a world of wars I started meditating during the pandemic because it was the only thing I could think to do. I found myself drawn to meditation tracks featuring Buddhist principles and I often choose those now, when my mind is racing and I feel I would benefit from a bit of meditative…
-
Is this one of those things where everyone turns to the right? When there are no ground rules for social conduct, who is responsible for the way things are? If there are no rules to break, how are disputes settled? I can’t believe what I am about to type–we could all learn a lot from…
-
When Britney really hit her stride, and they did her wrong. I celebrated a big birthday a few days ago. I am 40. This year, a couple of close friends gave me very thoughtful gifts that I was not expecting. I’m uncomfortable with the idea that people want to do nice things for me simply…
Life with ink 